night

in the middle of
the night I sit
staring at the wall
I see
nothingness covered
by
darkness
and
I'm
more awake than I’d like
to be
more awake than
I should be
more awake
always
More
More
More
I yearn for
something I
can’t have
when
all I want
to be
is less
less than a girl
I became
less than me
I hate
less than
nothing
so
maybe
finally
I could
be
something
someone
to love
not a person that
in the middle of
the night
sits
staring at
the blank wall