Me about myself | final version

the idea of my misfortune
appears to me

-you think about
what you don't have-

I'm scared
that I will never feel the fear
of my life again
that I've become indifferent to myself
and it's none of anyone's business
since in fact it doesn't matter

dear psychologists
scholars in a scientific work
neither you
nor your white pills
will take me out of this

I am sick and tired of the world
I am sick and tired of myself
and a boomerang will be coming back
and it will hit me straight into my larynx

I am on the verge of enlightenment
that I won't believe in life anymore
and, my world,
you will have to take me seriously
when I stop hoping on a miracle
on a fluke
on a blind stupid destiny
and for the last time I decide about myself